COMMENT | Confessions of a non-Malay

COMMENT | Back in 1991, I was a Form 5 student at Sekolah Menengah St Anne's Convent, Kulim, Kedah. My schoolmates and I had just sat for our trial SPM exams and eagerly awaited our results. Back then, some scholarship applications were made using the results of trial exams.

Upon receiving our results, students who were interested in applying for the scholarships were instructed to collect the application forms from our vice principal, Cikgu Rohana (not her real name). So a big group of us made our way to the school office, super excited.

"Cikgu, kami nak pohon biasiswa. Boleh kami dapatkan borang (We plan to apply for scholarships, can we have the forms)?" asked one of my friends.

Cikgu Rohana smiled and began giving out the form, one by one. I stood in line watching my friends receiving them. However, when it came to my turn, Cikgu Rohana held on to the forms and gave me a stare instead.

“Saya pun nak borang biasiswa, cikgu (I too would like to have a scholarship form, teacher),” I said with a smile.

“Borang ni untuk pelajar yang cemerlang saja, bukan untuk semua orang (This form is only for good students, it is not for everyone),” she explained.

I was offended but I decided to give her a reasonable doubt - being a new addition to the school, perhaps she wasn’t aware that I was also a good student, I thought.

“Saya pelajar cemerlang, cikgu (I am also a good student, teacher),” I explained in an awkward manner.

“Apa kamu dapat untuk trial (What was your result for trial)?” Cikgu Rohana asked me in such a way that made me feel small.

“Agregat 7 (7 aggregate).”

Cikgu Rohana found it difficult to believe that I did well in my trials. She demanded that I show her proof before releasing the scholarship form. And so I did.

As we walked back to our classroom on that day with the forms which we believed would determine our future, I felt upset, offended and humiliated. All my other friends who happened to be Malays were given the forms without questions asked.

“Why was I treated differently?” I thought.

The only reason I could think of was the fact that I was the only non-Malay in the group.

As a young, naïve 16-year-old Indian Muslim girl, the incident left a scar on my...