COMMENT | Our sexuality is complex

COMMENT | In December 2021, upon the completion of my free online writing workshop for women, I decided to organise a similar workshop for men. Apart from a few common requirements, those interested to participate had to prepare an essay based on their own life experience. 

One of the essays I received was from Bob (not his real name) who was happily married and had a couple of children. He described his life as blessed and almost close to perfection. He had a great job which he loved, a supportive family and wonderful friends.

Bob, however, had a dilemma – he was attracted to other men. Although he had never pursued his attraction for those of the same gender, he struggled internally to fight his own desires. At the same time, Bob also claimed that he could not be truthful to his family and friends about his personal conflicts, fearful of losing the people he loved.

According to Bob, he only developed an attraction towards other men in his late-20s. Prior to that, he was a straight man who only dated women and had no interest in men, sexually.

Bob’s story intrigued me, and I was looking forward to meeting him to discover the depth of his story. Unfortunately, he never showed up for the workshop. In the following days, I received an email from him stating his decision to drop out as he did not have the courage to share the intimate story with others in the workshop...