LETTER | Feeling betrayed?

LETTER | The number of people we have met is innumerable and those we get acquainted with are inestimable.

We remember those we saw more often, such as residents, coworkers, customers, or service providers; and those we frequently noticed at religious, social or business gatherings.

As for friends, the number could be counted by the fingers of just one hand or two. Friends are those you know well and enjoy each other’s company, and have also developed a bond with, but are not family members, close or distant relatives, or lovers in open or secret relationships.

True friends are those who offer you moral support, improve your quality of life, promote self-confidence, provide honest opinions and unconditional love, and help you progress mentally and possibly spiritually.

It takes time and effort to foster deep, healthy and lasting friendships.

Friendships must be active and ongoing to be alive. It would be a mistake to assume what one party had done for the other years ago would automatically be reciprocated now or in the future.

Over time, situations and circumstances could change, and emotions and sentiments will wane.

This includes childhood friends and classmates that have been separated for decades and they naturally look forward to such gatherings to rekindle and enjoy fond memories of yesteryears.

Nevertheless, be careful with long-lost friends or relatives that suddenly turn up out of nowhere.

Letdown

Usually, the party that expected but did not receive appropriate reciprocation would feel bitter, cheated or even betrayed.

This reminds me of Martin Luther King - who famously quoted, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends”.

The hurt inflicted by our enemies, though painful, would gradually fade away and be forgotten, but not from family members and closest friends.

Their action or inaction in the hour of need is equally hurtful, whether intentional or not, and can only be resolved through introspection.

Few people could differentiate between acquaintances and friends. Those who like to do a lot of favours for each other or go out of their way to help are likely to be disappointed one day when the other did not reciprocate appropriately. And this usually happens among close friends.

As for the best friend, he or she is someone you value above all other buddies, whom you have fun with, and who can be trusted.

Your best friend is the first person you call to share good news and spend much leisure time together and lend support to each other in good times or bad.

But many people forget or do not realise that we should first be our own best friends by being kind and providing all the necessary support to ourselves, just as we readily give them to our best friends.

This will ensure our own well-being is taken care of before we can do it for others.

If not, it amounts to self-betrayal and those who cannot love themselves will not be able to love others. Likewise, those who betray themselves are likely to betray others one day.

So, do not count on friends too much and even spouses can go their separate ways after feeling betrayed.

The views expressed here are those of the author/contributor and do not necessarily represent the views of Malaysiakini.